Not For Sale

not for sale

if i were a house, i’d want to be

a yellow house.

with a door painted blue,

and pure white window shutters.

with a  garden in the front yard and in the backyard,

and basil planted in every windowsill.

a two story house,

big but not too big,

making sure to not take up too much space.

a house that is never on the market.

no real estate agents to be seen.

a house that has never been touched,

it is it’s own property.

but i'm not that house.

i'm a black house.

with a door painted gray

with no shutters,

but boards covering the shattered windows.

a front yard of overgrown weeds.

a backyard with no garden,

but a cemetery.

no basil in any windowsills, just cobwebs.

i am a four story house, too tall,

taking up too much space.

this house is always on the market,

it has potential.

people come and pick and pull,

trying to change this house.

this house has never been its own property.

but once they’ve picked and pulled,

they realize that there is far too much to be done,

too many things to change,

to pick at,

to pull apart.

it is tiring, so i decide

the house that i am is not for sale any longer,

it has bought itself.

for the first time since i have been built and abandoned,

i am my own property.

i go to the store and i buy hammers and i buy nails,

i buy basil,

flowers,

and gallons of paint.

i take the boards off of my windows,

replace with orange shutters.

leave some of the windows shattered,

because all things cant be perfect,

and i'm okay with that.

i clear the cobwebs and plant basil in every windowsill,

cut the weeds,

replace them with grass seeds and water,

wait patiently,

because i know how hard it is to grow.

i put flowers at every grave in the cemetery that is my backyard,

as a reminder that losing things,

can be a beautiful thing.

i paint the house the yellow i always wanted,

paint the door red, reminding myself i never even really liked blue.

i am not the house i wanted to be,

and that is okay.

i still love what i am anyways.

The Good Side of Amir

This picture shows a bush that is growing, but also half dead. Most of the novel illustrates the guilty and betraying side of Amir, which is the dead part of the bush. As he grows into an adult and matures, he begins to grasp hold onto important aspects of his life, such as marrying Soraya and going to college while pursuing a career, which is the flourishing part of the bush. Through Amir's childhood regrets, part of the bush cannot grow and thrive. Furthermore, the dead part of the bush still has some parts of it that are alive because of the guilt and shame he felt when he was a child. However, moving to America gives Amir the opportunity to build on top his past and create a successful future for himself.

Wave after wave

Wave after wave

"When he began to sing the wrinkles billowed out, forming little waves that rippled across his tanned and gleaming body." (Sijie 75)

"Every now and then it disappeared into a roll of skin, but just as it seemed lost forever in the tidal flow it re-emerged, dignified and prime." (Sieje 75)

When Sijie describes the Old Storytellers stomach as waves, that always re-emerged I believe he was trying to capture the spirits of the Old Storyteller, Luo, and the narrator. The Old Storyteller has clearly been around for quite a while, and the never ending waves of his stomach represent the never ending waves of his spirit and happiness. Luo and the narrator have both been through so much because of the re-education, and when there spirits and true happiness seem to be fading, they always find a way to make sure neither of those things cease to exist. 

Be Yourself

When you are yourself

you are complete

When you begin to let go of what others say

you become more simple

When you live your life

by the positive thoughts in your head

not the negative

only then will you truly be yourself

The one who is kind

receives kindness in return

The one who is humble

receives the true spirit of others

The one who respects others

receives respect back

Live for yourself, and you will be happy.