What Am I Feeling

George Poppitz

Mrs. Bennett

World Lit Honors 1’st Period

24 March 2017

What Am I Feeling

I am sitting alone

Completely devoid of emotion

Treading water in an expansive ocean

Lost underneath a gray sky

Surrounded by nothing on all sides

A barren desert

Windswept by people that passed by

Occasionally a tumbleweed bounces through

A text lights up my phone

Contact!

Someone wanders into my life

A little glow of feeling

And I smile

But then I put down my phone

Stop texting and focus

There is school work to do

I return to the emptiness

I must feel something

Maybe I am sad

That sounds about right

I am certain that the girl I like hates me

My chemistry grade is struggling

I feel isolated

There are maybe three people I consider good friends

Nothing I do is ever good enough

The sadness is just being pushed down

So instead I feel nothing

But maybe deep down its sadness

Or am I happy?

Yes

That could be it

I live a good life

I am impossibly privileged

My parents always provide for me

I have a great support structure

I have no right to complain

So even though right now I feel nothing

Buried underneath layers of apathy
I should be happy

Even though it is buried
I should feel something

There is no way that I can be devoid of emotion

I have my entire life ahead of me

I need to laugh

Cry

Love

Be human

This state of emptiness can’t be right

Underneath this blanket of darkness

There must be a flicker of light

I’ll take something

Anything

I just want to know that something isn’t wrong with me

I need to feel