The Monster Under the Bed

By the time we are old enough to understand

that there is no such thing as the “monster under the bed”,

a new one

comes to haunt us.

Except this monster isn’t like the one before.

It walks side by side with us in the hallways,

it looks like us,

dresses like us,

talks like us,

but it judges us,

blames us,

it makes us believe

that we are worthless.

Insignificant beings that do not deserve

to be standing on the same soil

that our ancestors who bestowed us

our family names once stood.

Yet we choose to hide under the covers of our blankets

because we believe that

in doing so,

we will be protected from this “monster”.

But in doing so,

we expose our hearts

and our vulnerability,

allowing it to shackle chains to our mind

so that it can pull us down into the bottomless depths

along with it.

We allow it to meld our thoughts

into one of its liking,

One deadened by the fear of

shame,

disgust,

humiliation,

for no one but ourselves.

But when will we come to understand

that this monster is just a fragment of our imagination?

When will the be moment we come down from the bed,

And realize that this is the only way we can shatter

those chains that bind us to it?

This monster plays with our fears,

But our fears do not define who we are.

Rather,

the broken chains that once tethered us

now signify our

strength,

fortitude,

determinance.

We can grow from our fears,

Just like we grew to understand

that there is no such thing as the monster under the bed.

What I want

in the last few seconds of my life, i had a sudden, incredible idea

I decided to write a list of things i had wanted to complete in my life

it was simple,

nothing complicated

just a list of regret and indignant memoirs,

Things i’d rather forget

memories i never had but wanted to obtain

thoughts that I wanted to allow to envelop my brain

before death

and - i guess it’s not a huge deal

i scribbled and scrambled as I scratched a preamble

“i died on this day”

and in the simplest of worlds my dreams would be fulfilled

the world would flock to me and my happiness would build

i would live the sweetest life before death

but regretfully, the world is not aware of a simple, quiet passing such as mine

i don’t really know how to expand on that, it’s too hasty

Breaky

You see,

that’s all that really is left

until my death, in a few seconds

I want to be remembered

I want to be loved

I want to be known

I want stories to be passed on

I’m worthy
I’m important

I’m not ready to-

A Day at the Park

Powdered sugar and crumbles of cone stick themselves in the cracks of our chapped lips

We glide along the sizzling tar in our flip flops

To the peppy tunes filling the air with joy

Exhilarated shrieking and rattling on all sides of us

Neither endless lines nor blazing heat

Can shake our spirits today

Sure, our times here have never been perfect

We pass the pavilion where I was consumed by the crowd many summers ago

Gasping for air and yelling your first names

After “mom” and “dad” only got me confused looks

We pass the spot where icy sweetness splattered your legs

After plummeting to the pavement with a splat

We pass the galloping horses that ended their circular motion with a rusty screech

Just as we got to the front of the line

However, none of the tear-inducing memories can shake our spirits today

Mom thinks of the socks on the carpet, the unplanned dinner, the blank grocery list

The parents she hasn’t called in a month, the ever-empty cabinets a victim of young mouths

And yet, she sees her happy family and realizes she’s smiling too

Not even her guilt and concern can shake our spirits today

There’s the sign

My head easily reached the “Ok to Ride” green while you were deep in the red “Cannot Ride”

Your self-confidence and determination couldn’t boost you into the green zone

Your hands clung to the gate and you suppressed a pout

As I took a seat on The Orbit and it began to whirl about without you

And over there

Dad’s tight grip on our wrists yanked us out of line because we couldn’t behave

Past frustrations and family tension can’t shake our spirits today

As we lurch forward on the incline with a click, click, click

I find the lap belt clenched in my white knuckles

My eyes inch their way over the edge of the cart

As I evaluate how far below us the ants are

But as we reach the top click, the wind gusts the caution from me

Not even gripping fear can shake our spirits today

As we glide out of the park

I glance down at the inky blue star on my hand and remember our day

And the corner of my chapped sugary lips begins to rise

Escape

Clouds clustered in a

Configuration of my greatest

Consternations

A hollow, menacing skull

I run

The raging beast

Sniffing with its monstrous, gray snout

Charges forward with threatening determination

Trees fall and plants razed

I run

Thunder roars overhead

Nothing can be heard aside from

The sound of footsteps in the rain

and snarls in the background

I cover my ears

Wishing for this day to be over

as I tread through this depraved swamp

Fear grabs on to me

and slowly begins to envelop my heart

I run

Past the glittering stones

Littered throughout the flourished forest floor

Past the tropical birds

Gawking at me with their outstretched beaks

All in a straight line of green, blue, red and black

I run

The path converges

Sending me to the verge

of disaster

Bending down

I pick up a stick

I turn around

I stand.

Riki

The distance between us

joint by an Arial plane

If only I could

see you say the words in that Facebook chat window

If only I could

pull you through the screen of our Skype call

If only I could

spend one more day with you

Where the Pacific would part

To make way for our bond

Where we would laugh into the afternoon

Sweating our worries away in the summer sun

Feeling as light as helium balloons

Up and down just like our lungs

I miss the old days

And I don’t know if they’ll ever come back

But I’m waiting

Over distanced texts

Over laggy video chats

I’ll be waiting

my friend

Waiting for another day

A day much brighter

than today

An Overdue Ode

You came in a box.

Vibrant colors of white and gray,

I would soon call you

My knight in shining armor

Because you saved me from my ugly handwriting.

Your face would gleam

Beaming with the knowledge you provided for me

Sacrificing everything you had

For my success and happiness.

You were mine and my own

And I wanted you to stay and be perfect.

But after a while, you sounded heated

Empty inside, you shut down on me.

We were both

Frustrated, fatigued, fazed

But I could tell

Your radiant visage was replaced

with a wearisome look.

And soon you left me.

Left me wondering

How I could get you back

What I could have done to make you stay by my side

How I could fill this empty spot next to me

I remember...

You came in a box.

I know I’m late

But

This is my ode to you.

Hush Child

Hush child, can you hear the wind roaring in the storm

We are insignificant compared to Mother Nature

For when she says it shall rain, it shall rain

It shall rain without regard,

Intent on sweeping us away in its single minded mission

To drip drop once again

Hush child, can you hear the cries in the distance,

We paint blue skies into scarlet tears as echoes continue to ring,

But, when the world runs red with bloodshed, it shall rain

It shall rain tears of the fallen, for the lost, tearing apart humanity without regard to emotions,

For we will still return back and continue once more our pointless conflicts

Hush child, can you hear the night changing to day,

We can now start over,

For when the day changes, a new page begins,

It shall begin like every other day

And maybe, this time, we will be able to change